After talking to a dear friend of mine, I sit here pondering about love. What is it about love that makes you so giddy you can't focus on anything and when you see that special person you get butterflies in your stomach? When Brad and I were on our first date I was so nervous, I knocked over my water glass, tripped, couldn't stop shaking and on top of it all...couldn't stop talking about myself. Talk about bad date!!!! But in the end, Brad decided to love me and give me his heart. When we first started dating I couldn't stop talking about him and staring at him and wanting to be with him ALL THE TIME! But as time goes on, you learn to be your own person within a relationship. I wonder though how can something like love make you feel so wonderful but at the same time make you feel like your heart is literally being ripped from your very body. It's a very strange thing if you think about it. My friend was telling me how he was so in love with someone but she didn't even know it but yet he would do anything for her. He feels pain every day when he thinks about her and how he cannot be with her. And an even bigger question...can you love one person but be in love with another? I believe so. When you give your heart to someone, you are giving them a piece of you. And they will always mean something to you. Back to the previous question, I do think that you can love someone but be in love with someone. I mean you can love your friend but be in love with your boyfriend. Or you can love an ex but be in love with your partner. I think that even when you are no longer with someone, you will always still love them because they were a part of your life. For some the love will fade and for others it will burn passionately for years (like in the notebook!). When you find someone else, will the love and passion go to them or will you hold it all in because of your past love. I ponder this all for my friend as I tried to give him advice tonight. I feel as though sometimes I can be an eternal optimist for love. I do believe in true love but also believe that not just one person can give you that love. It makes me think of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte says they only get 2 true loves. Who made that up? And if that is so, guess I am all out of chances so Brad better never leave me hanging :)

I was thinking today about relationships and I guess some relationships fathom me. Granted, Brad and I have not always been perfect and have gone through a lot but in the end I always knew we loved each other and if it was meant to be it would be meant to be. I cannot understand why people stay in unhappy relationships. Is it because of the kids? Is it because they are scared to be alone? Is it because they are too confortable? Is it a combination of a few things? I think it could be. I think sometimes people get so comfortable in the life that they have that they cannot see anything different. But should we sacrifice our happiness and potential happiness for something that is not working. I have taken several relationship classes and I am far from being an expert, however, I think that we are in a bad place when we stop caring about our happiness. We only have one life and we need to live it to it's fullest. I am not saying that we should not work at our relationships. However, if it's not working and you have tried and tried, why not try something new? Try to find yourself. I know that when I finally took the time to find out who I was and all my quirky (and at times annoying) personality traits, Brad and I started doing really well. I finally grew up and am happy with myself. I also think alot of people rush into marriage before fully being ready or mature as a person. I will admit I was someone who thought that you should get married young. But in the end, I am happy Brad and I have waited because we are so much more happy and so much more mature. So in the end, after all my rambling, I just want to say that we should be happy. But we should make ourselves happy. No one can make you as happy as you can make yourself and in the end your happiness is what will get you through all the tough things in this life.